Vitamin D – Time for ME!

The first few days are a blur. The first few weeks are bliss…AND a blur. There is nothing more precious than the hours spent getting to know your little one. I’ve never stared at one thing for so long without getting bored with it. (7 months later and I could still stare at him for hours doing whatever it is he’s doing.) They are truly a miracle. With all of the miraculousness there are the moments of unexpected, overwhelming emotion. The moments when they’re crying and you aren’t sure why. Or they’re wanting to eat AGAIN and it’s 2am and your husband is sound asleep snoring like a baby next to you. Or when the explosive breastfed diaper is ready to be changed and changed…and changed. Or perhaps when all of your single friends are headed to the beach for an endless day in the sun and you can’t bare to think of a bikini, let alone taking your little one out for more than 15 minutes in the heat. Regardless of the moment, it will happen. I’m not saying there is one true remedy, but I want all of you to know it exists and IT IS OK, but most importantly it will pass.

Postpartum is a tough subject because no new mother wants to admit that she can’t handle it or that she isn’t to the moon with joy at the very same time. Remember all of those oxymorons I mentioned about motherhood (in an earlier post), this is one of them. I wouldn’t say I experienced postpartum like the text-book describes it, but perhaps the more loosely used term “baby blues”. Let me give you the back story: My amazing husband, for those of you who don’t know, owns his own HV/AC company (heating and cooling) and when you have a baby during the midst of the hottest months of the year, you don’t take into account that everyone’s AC doesn’t magically fix itself. Therefore, mommy duty was full force almost instantly. While Gary was there as often as he could be (and an amazing dad nonetheless), his sometimes 12 hour shifts left me home understanding what military wives, single moms, and many other mothers who do it alone experience 24/7. (To those women: God bless you!) I then allowed him to get his normal nights sleep while I got up with the baby every time, because I felt guilty waking him when he had worked so hard the day before. Which then led to my getting no actual sleep.

Most women, I believe, were made to be mothers. We can do it all, all the time. Without women, men wouldn’t know that they even had a head atop their shoulders (sorry babe, but it’s true). However, in the midst of “doing it all” I had a moment. A moment where instead of being “MOM”, I needed MY mom.

Thankfully, her house is only about 20 houses down from me and she was there with the daycare kids accepting me and Coop with open arms. Like always, I put on my brave face, got dressed, dressed my little stud muffin in his swim trunks and hat and strolled down looking as proud and feeling as blessed as ever. (See, oxymoron in full effect!) I got there, passed him to her loving care, and headed straight for the pool. I jumped in, swam under water to the other side and by the time I surfaced I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t explain it, I didn’t even know what one thing would make it better. I wanted to hold Cooper and kiss him and love him and tell God again and again how thankful I was, but I needed this time, even if it only lasted for a few minutes, for me. As the tears flowed, I climbed aboard a raft, and within moments passed out…for those of you who haven’t caught on…the root of the problem = exhaustion! It is not normal or suggested for any human being to sleep in cycles of 1 hour, for a total of less than 6 hours in a 24 hour period. I woke up after I felt my milk machines overly engorged and ready for baby. Opening my eyes to the bright sun, I felt entirely rejuvenated and couldn’t wait to end “me” time and rejoin little Coop. (Come to find out my eternal nap was only 40 minutes! But 40 minutes of uninterrupted sleep is bliss in those early days.) Reuniting with him was bliss, my positive oxymoron was back in full force. From then on out, I took advantage of my moms help. I also learned that Coop loves the Vitamin D too!

The point of my rant is:

1. IT IS OK to feel not 110%. Our bodies have just gone through major trauma, our hormones are all out of whack and we are exhausted. Your baby doesn’t feel less loved and no one thinks you love them less.

2. ASK FOR HELP or accept when others offer to let you rest while they sit with the baby.

3. Your husband will survive if he has to wake up once or twice with the baby. USE him.

4. SHARE your feelings with another mom. Just letting it out will help you feel better.

5. TAKE YOU TIME (even if it is for JUST 40 minutes)!

Best of luck to all of you mommies. If you need someone to chat with or a place to get out of the house and relax, come visit us at the store, we love meeting all the new babies! And remember if these types of feelings do persist, reach out to your physician. There are so many people willing to help and ways to get back on a stable mindset for you and your baby’s health.

Egg Hatched – First Latch

The first few moments are surreal. You have so many expectations; what they will look, smell like, feel like. What will your first words be? However, my biggest hope and expectation beyond an uncomplicated delivery, was for him to latch immediately. To know that mommy is here to comfort and keep you safe always, and most importantly to keep you alive. It’s a bonding experience that is unmatched. And though exhausting, especially at the beginning, there are no words to describe the peacefulness you feel when they are content and nursing. 

Mind you, with the good, usually there is always the opposing forces of bad. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s extremely time consuming. Yes, you feel like a cow the first few weeks. Yes, you lose all sense of privacy and timidness about being “exposed”. Yes, you are doing 3 times the laundry because you are wearing a multitude of shirts throughout the day. Yes, you lose awareness of day and night because they feed around the clock. And yes, you feel like your husband will never again look at your boobs the same way after seeing them in this state. 

Thankfully, with the bad there always comes a ‘BUT’. But, you get used to it and it doesn’t hurt anymore. But, the time spent is the most precious bonding time you will never regret. But, they get on a feeding schedule so you’re only ‘milked’ from time to time and it’s keeping them healthy. But, you get the hang of things and learn to reveal a little less. But, you find the nursing pads and remedies that keep your shirt dry as long as possible. But, once you aren’t doing it around the clock you look forward to it. But, your husband learns to adore it and YOU for it. 

I was fortunate enough, (thanks mainly in part to Stacy Kucharczk, a local expert and lactation consultant with Best Feeding Lactation Services, LLC) that Coop took to it immediately and never looked back. I had a few struggles with scheduling,  learning to pump when I went back to work, and slight production issues…but we are almost 7 months in counting and there is nothing sweeter than picking him up for feeding time and seeing his little lips start moving before my shirt is even pulled up. 

Now, to speak directly to the “milking” topic. Just like there is an art to nursing, there is an art to pumping! The first time I tried it, I remember the noise alone scared me. Nothing like already being tender and now the true cow suckling begins from a machine. Suck – Pull – Milk. Talk about feeling unsexy. My biggest lesson here was being in a comfort zone, having a picture or video of Cooper accessible to help my milk ‘let’, and securing a routine for storing it. Once I got that down to a science, it was easy. Though, I will say, I was never fully “comfortable” doing it. And I was happy to see that aspect of nursing go away after 6 months. 

While I am no expert, I surely have my go to tips for my new mommy friends. 

1. You can’t care what anyone else thinks about nursing. No matter where you are, find a place where you are comfortable and make that baby happy. They come first. Not other people’s opinion. 

2. You have to relax! If you are stressed, the baby can sense that. The moment you find your “happy place” they too will get in the groove. 

3. The organic washable pads didn’t work for me. I tried double layering, plastic backs, lilly pads, everything. The only thing that worked were the NUK all nighter pads – I used them ALL day. It was inevitable I was going to leak…so I had to be prepared. 

4. Scheduling was key for my sanity. When he was brand new of course, I did on demand feeding, but after a couple months, I started a schedule that worked for us and it truly eased my mind and body knowing I had little breaks from time to time. 

5. Keep them clean! The last thing we all have time for is infection. So in the midst of all the shirt and nursing pad changes, be sure to wash up. (This will help prevent thrush and other complications). 

6. Lastly, and most importantly – Involve your partner. The time is precious and they are often kicked to the side while nursing. At first especially, have him help you. Let him sit there with you in the wee hours of the morning. If anything, have him get up to change and get baby ready, while you have a few extra minutes to shut eye. It helps you and it helps them feel connected too.

At the end of the day, all of our bodies are different. But I truly believe God intended for us to have this special bond for a reason. It doesn’t come easy, but it is so worth it. 

 

If you are interested in learning more about breastfeeding, we offer FREE monthly seminars at our store.

 

A New Year as A New Mom

You’d think being around 12 kids age 0-5 in your household everyday growing up, that you’d know what motherhood would be like. (Mom owns a daycare in home). You’d think touching bellies for 4 years while belly casting and learning the stories of pregnancy, you’d get a taste of what pregnancy was all about. You’d think having best friends who have kids to which you adore, you’d “get” being a mom. You’d think being a God-mom and hearing your best friend give you the true gritty details, you’d surely get motherhood. You’d think having nieces and nephews and watching your siblings go through parenthood, you’d really get it. You’d think opening a maternity store where you’re constantly surrounded by mommies who tell you all about pregnancy and newborns, you’d know what to expect out of motherhood. You’d even think growing a baby for 10 months makes you a mom. BUT YOU DONT – NOT EVEN CLOSE.

6 Months and 19 days ago my world changed. I know longer “knew” all about what motherhood was, I became a mom in an instant and only NOW do I know what motherhood truly encompaases. The experience of a lifetime that carries with it the biggest oxymorons you could possibly imagine. Tears meet laughter. Exhaustion meets endless energy. Depression meets pure happiness. Frustration meets overwhelming peace.  And above all else, L-O-V-E… an indescribable, heart-bursting, free-spirited dancing, breath taking love.

Cooper Avery Andress (“Coop”) gave me my ticket to motherhood. Well technically God gave it to me, but Coop had it in his hand the moment I held him on my chest for the first time. And gracious it was the golden ticket I never expected, but will NEVER give up.

I intend to share…ALL OF IT…in this blog. I want to be a beacon for women who are expecting. To know the TV shows, the books, even the friendly mom stories don’t do it justice. And while I may try to personify motherhood as much as possible, even I won’t be able to explain it to its magnitude until you have your own little one in your arms, but I’ll surely give you it as real as I can. I also hope to be relatable to all my mommy friends out there. Now that I’m no longer living in a cloud of fog, I want to tell you all about the past 6 months and ride this roller coaster with each of you in the coming years.

Thanks for tuning in and hope you enjoy!