My First Delivery

Anticipating your first delivery is very overwhelming. Nerves and emotions of all kinds flood you daily; especially with the stories that linger of other people’s births. Will I be in public when my water breaks? Will I be able to handle the pain? Will I be induced or have to have an unplanned C-section? Will I deliver early or will he (or she) be late? How bad will it hurt? Will everything be ok with the health of the baby?

As the days pass in my second pregnancy and I anticipate how this next delivery will go, all of those worries truly don’t exist. Maybe the “Will I be early or late”, but beyond that I just put myself back into the surreal, beautiful experience of my first delivery and anxiously await all of those little moments again.

Now don’t get me wrong, my labor was not all cupcakes and rainbows…I checked in a day too early. I swear I could feel the contractions, about every 15 minutes, however the doctors laughed at me when they saw how put together I was. They said, “Sweetheart, you will not be texting when you’re in labor. How about you head home and wait it out a bit.”  Shucks, I was bummed, but at least they didn’t admit me and I had to be there for God knows how long.

Anyway, the next afternoon the contractions were timed out about every five or six minutes, as they originally asked, and I went from smiling and texting my family, to deep breaths, clinched eyes and puking. That’s right…puking. EVERY CONTRACTION. My very clean and prepped house (mainly kitchen sink), went from a sanitized “nesting” zone to a war zone very quickly. I could hardly sit in the car on the ride there, it hurt too bad. I think I may have yelled at the red lights a couple of times, and maybe even at my hubby. I scared women and children in the hallways on the way in to the OBGYN’s office (connected to the hospital, don’t worry). They wheeled me over to the hospital; still throwing up every contraction, even though Gary kept telling me I wasn’t going to (his sales tactics weren’t working so well in this scenario). What I like to call the climax of the story was my puking all over the reception desk when being checked in. (I was out of bags!) Mind you, all of this was happening and I was only 3cm dilated!

Anyhow, I got put in one of those holding rooms, since all the beds were taken and my previous thoughts of having a natural birth had completely flown out the window; I was ready for the epidural. Now I could have gotten it then, but they told me my room would be ready in about 15 minutes and it would be best for transporting me from one bed to another if I wait. So 15 minutes, that’s about three contractions…why not? Well 15 minutes, turned into 30, turned into one hour. In that hour I had probably thrown up 100 times. My water had broken naturally. And I may have screamed a few times…now scaring the nurses in the reception area (at least this time they were clear of the vomit). And to top it all off I had progressed from 3cm to 8cm; still with no epidural.

Finally, the time had come that I had my own room. I think they may have kicked someone out in fear that this baby was coming out much faster than they anticipated. So, I’m on the borderline of getting or not getting the epidural based on dilation and timing, but I still wanted it; now more than ever! Thoughts about the needle are the last thing running through your mind, I didn’t feel a thing. They actually gave me a block first and then an epidural because they weren’t sure if the epidural would kick in with enough time prior to the baby coming out. Needless to say, I was in comatose heaven. My vomit war zone was now clear. I immediately asked to brush my teeth and I got a Popsicle. Whew. Gary could take a deep breath, and my family could start coming in to say hi. About an hour and a half later (yes, the epidural slowed things down tremendously), it was time to push! My mom and Gary were both in the delivery room with me. The nurses told me to not push at all because they baby was about to pop out, but the doctor wasn’t there yet. I told them there wasn’t much waiting…soon enough, doc was in position and two pushes later, he was here!

Ok, did I just scare you? Wait wait…keep reading…

So, back to the beginning, where I said I’m not concerned about any of that pain, vomit, or anything anymore. Throughout all of that craziness there were these moments that seem like snapshots in my mind that are and will always be frozen in my heart.

Gary was the most calm I had ever seen him. He held my hand the whole time. His eyes interlocked on mine when the pain would set in, helping me breathe through every contraction. His words were so comforting and he never missed a beat.  He was like the delivery guru, even though we never took one parenting or Lamaze class. I’ve never felt that connected to him. My mom was in the delivery room, but I honestly just remember Gary’s every move, while my mom captured it all on video and camera.

The next highlight was prior to pushing when they told me “He has a full head of hair!”. My whole pregnancy they told me he was bald, even the nurse who had checked me throughout the day said the same thing. So I was shocked and SO excited. I had them put my phone on backwards view so I could see! It was amazing…I watched the whole thing. It’s not what you imagine at all. All the analogies of a watermelon coming out of you and how your husband will never look at your “world” the same; well, that’s bogus. Shocking, yes. But, so incredible how God created women to do something so beautiful.

The next highlight of course was pulling him out and having him lay right on my chest. Seeing him for the first time was like starring into the sun. I was blinded literally by the radiating beauty, by the love. Your heart feels like it’s going to explode. You have so many words and no words at all. But my mom captured our first words on video and I am so thankful to have that moment always.

The final highlight of the delivery was watching Gary turn from a husband to a father. They say women become mothers the moment they conceive, while men don’t become fathers until they hold their child for the first time. I 100% agree with that quote. They try to act like they know what is going on while you’re pregnant. Touching your belly from the outside while they kick or talking, singing or reading to them in utero. But the true father is not born until the emotion rushes over them as they first hold their son or daughter. I watched him hold Cooper’s hand while they measured him and took his footprints. I’ve never seen my husband cry and though I still didn’t see an actual tear, there was this expression of raw admiration that I will never forget.

So delivery is over and here you are with this angel to call your own. No experience to date has ever topped those emotions and so here I am, a few weeks away from getting to experience it all again and I truly can’t wait.

I hope you get to have those same tiny moments that become huge impacts.

What advice do you have for new moms on what to expect for their first delivery?