Top 10 Must Haves for Your Baby Registry

I remember the first time I registered for baby items at the large name retailers like Babies “R” Us and Target. Let’s just say, thank God for my mom who has been in the industry of babies for 28 years, otherwise I would have been like a lost puppy. Endless aisles of baby gear, from bottle brands to diaper brands and gadgets you’ve never heard of…how would a first time mom in a typical setting even begin to know what to do or where to start? Sure, we can always turn to Google, but I think typically moms just go scan-happy and register for everything in order to get a little bit of it all. Honestly, half of it you’ll never use more than once and at the end of the day it’s up to baby if they like a certain pacifier or brand of bottle.

Second time around, everything is a no brainer. You know what works and what doesn’t, what you actually use and what is useless. And, you also know it’s not always about the “name brand”, but more about the RIGHT brand. So I thought for all my first-time mommy friends I’d give you a leg up on your registry by sharing some inside scoop on need vs. want and some unique gifts you can find at smaller boutique stores that end up being life-savers for mommy (and daddy).

Also, I want to drive home the importance of the essentials that are made for mommy. As a mom, innately we only think of our little one, but there are plenty of needs that help you comfort-wise too. Why not register for those essential items instead of the cutesy, one-time use only gadgets you may think look cool?

So, in fear of overwhelming you, but wanting to provide a decent list to get you started, here are my top 10 mommy must-haves for your registry (many of which you probably never even thought to add):

*If it’s in BLUE – that means Modern Maternity carries them in store for cheaper than competitors AND no shipping!

1. Baby Carrier: No better way to be than hands-free when you have a little one. Of course, at first you just want to snuggle them 24/7, but eventually the dishes and laundry will call your name, and it’s nice to have a carrier that you are comfortable with that provides good support for both of you. My favorites are the Moby Wrap, The Ergo, and the traditional Ring Sling.

Bonus Note: We carry hand-made ring-slings with customizable fabric pockets and extra fabric that doubles as a nursing cover.

2. Pello: Forget about the Boppy, this product gets use for YEARS, instead of just a few months. The Pello, designed by a stay-at-home mom in Ohio, launched 2 years ago and has been growing in popularity because of its usability. Great for keeping baby on a sanitary, comfortable surface (especially when traveling or going to a friend’s house). It also doubles as a “boppy-like” pillow for tummy time, but these have useful link attachments so the toys don’t roll away from baby. The whole thing can be thrown in the wash, instead of having to fight with a cover. It’s Coopers favorite calm TV time place and my 7 year-old niece loves to lounge in it for movie time too, so that goes to show you it truly lasts a long time! (Plus they have customizable fabrics)

 

3. Baby Monitor: Obviously a must have! I have been without mine for a week, because little man dropped it and I’ve been waiting for the new shipment more impatiently than anything I’ve ever waited for! Video monitors are incredible for the first time worried momma. How many years can I use it for without it being weird that I watch him sleep??

4. Nose Frida – “The Snot Sucker”: So everyone knows about the blue bulb which has been given to mom and dad in the hospital for decades. Well without getting too descriptive – how do you clean that thing? What does it truly look like inside? How far are you supposed to go up in the nose? Are you affecting the baby’s nose membranes at all? You’ll never know…Born is the Nose Frida. The perfectly sanitary, non-invasive snot sucker that works like a lucky charm every time. For those of you who may gag thinking of sucking snot from your child’s nose…get over it! Obviously there is a filter to block it from ever going into your mouth (it’s actually impossible if you look at how it is built). Plus, Lord knows you’ve done much more disgusting things…like when your baby boy pees in your mouth by accident or explosive diaper changing…TRY IT…I swear you’ll thank me.

5. Diaper Bag: Great gift for mommy AND baby again. Mom, you will use the heck out of this! Get one that is practical of course, but fashion never hurts either. Remember YOU are carrying it, not the baby. So choose the colors you like. Daddy might carry it from time to time, but let’s be serious you’ll most likely be with him! I love the ones with the stroller attachment arms…amazing when your out and about; those suckers get heavy with all the Mary Poppins stuff you put inside.

Bonus Note: For those hands on daddies, we do carry diaper bags for dudes too! They are backpacks fully equipped with changing pads, cooler pockets, etc. Available in grey camo or black. We also carry a line called Stork Sak in-store for mommies…if you see one online you like, we sell it for 20% under retail to you!

6. Amber Teething Necklace/Bracelet: So no, the baby doesn’t come out of the womb teething, though I have heard of some babies having their first teeth within a couple of months…so why not be prepared? Amber is the new craze for all teething tots. The salic acid helps to boost the immune system and ease the pain of teething. Let’s just say, beyond the fashion statement, I can tell when Cooper doesn’t have his on!

7. Bloom Bath Tub: This was one of my favorite gifts from my shower. I hadn’t seen them at the time, but they are now wildly popular and sold in many large retailers and also boutique stores. They allow for easy access in any sink, true comfort for baby, and so sanitary opposed to laying them on the actual sink surface and trying to hold them sturdy.

8. 4Moms RockaRoo/MamaRoo Swing: This space-age looking device is a God-send. There are so many settings and options on this thing, you’d think you’d never use. But baby ALWAYS gives you a reason to try any and everything. It maximizes motion sensation for baby on so many levels and it’s easy to wash.It also has an MP3 player attachment, which may be over the top, but hey…it’s an option, right?

9. Nursing Bras and/or tanks: This is one of the items I mentioned that no one registers for, but everyone should! This is the number one used product by both mommy AND baby postpartum. We do FREE bra-fittings and sizing throughout your pregnancy, as well as once your milk comes in. Don’t go spend money on a Victoria Secret bra when you are 6 months pregnant; you’ll never be able to wear it again. Get a nursing bra and utilize its benefits. (Side note: We carry up to size M in bras, so don’t fret.)

Bonus Note: Breast Pump! Did you know now a-days almost all insurances cover your breast pumps at 100%? Be sure to call your insurance and find out! They will either reimburse you for your purchase or they send you one of their brands for FREE.

10. Post Partum Belly Belt: These are awesome for helping your stomach re-gain muscle control after delivery, both with C-sections or vaginal deliveries. My favorite brand is the Medela, because of the sleek material it is made of, you are able to wear it under anything and hardly notice it is there. I swear it’s the main reason I was able to pull off a bikini a few weeks after the baby was born. And YES, it is OK to ask for something for yourself :).

Well, I hope you learned about some additional items to add to your registry or perhaps a great gift you can buy an expectant mommy. This list is obviously only my top 10 picks, there are surely many more suggestions. If you are interested or simply feel overwhelmed, we do offer a registry service where the expert – Brenda, my mom and baby-guru – will meet you at Babies “R” Us to help guide you through the experience.

Regardless, keep in mind that you and baby are literally one for the first few weeks. What’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is yours, so it’s OK to be practical when registering. People will always manage to add in the “cute” stuff, but the essentials are what you NEED.

FYI: We currently have an in-store manual registry, but before long it will all be online and you can go scan-happy here too!

 What are some of registry must haves you’d recommend to new moms? What was your favorite gift you received as a new mom?

The Silent Parenting Struggle: From Heartbreak to Hope

These past few weeks I have been inspired by many different moms and it’s time I finally open up about a parenting struggle that I have been silent about. As a mom this topic hits me close to home every time I talk about it and I am sure, regardless of how similar or different your own circumstances are, whenever something deals with your own “baby” (be it an infant or your 20 year old); your heart is struck emotionally. Motherly instincts have a funny way of taking over your senses. To protect, comfort, defend or restore; moms are here to make it all better, no matter if the fixing is in our hands or not.

I’ve realized remaining silent in the matter helps no one, but I also know I am someone who copes with things internally before being able to release my emotion. My time to internally reflect is over, so today I am here to break my silence and share a struggle I’ve been dealing with as a mom.

My First True Parenting Struggle

Every child has a different story. Whether they were an easy infant or they gave you a run for your money, there are always trials and tribulations in parenting. My first true parenting trial came around Cooper’s 3-4 month mark. My hubby and I had noticed the back of Cooper’s head was a bit flat. We inquired about it at his 6 month doctor appointment when we noticed there was still no change. Our pediatrician gave us her own personal opinion in the matter while also giving us the medical advice we needed on the topic of plagiocephaly, also known as flat head syndrome. We decided to trust our instincts and meet with Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters (CHKD) to see if there was anything major happening or if there was more we could do. Of course at this point in the process, I was a nervous wreck. I felt guilty because I know some children have seen the inside of the CHKD walls more than the walls of their own home by 6 months of age, but it was our first experience and all I could do was try to remain calm. Every possible bad notion was running through my mind. Is it my fault? Could I have prevented this? Is it affecting his brain? Will it get better or worse on its own? What are my options? I can tell you one thing, the internet, though my lifeline for a lot of things, is the LAST place a worried mom should go. It had me up at night for hours or in tears the moment I thought about it. Regardless, I knew I needed to trust in the professionals…

Seeking Further Professional Advice

The doctor at CHKD told us that Cooper’s frontal physical attributes were perfect and then asked, “How many children do you see at the age of 3 or 5 walking around with flat heads?” My immediate thought, was “none”. He smiled happily and said, “You have nothing to worry about, this will fix on its own.” Relieved and so happy I didn’t have to put Cooper through anything major, I left a satisfied mommy, knowing he was still the perfect little man I photographed on a daily basis. Daddy on the other hand still had concerns. Months went by and at this point, he was sitting up all the time during the day, so no real pressure was ever put on his head. However, he exclusively slept on his back; arms spread wide. At his 9 month appointment, the pediatrician inquired about our decision and findings and was satisfied with our decision, though we knew there had not been any change in his head’s development. The difference was, his hair had grown in, so it really wasn’t noticeable unless his head was wet…

It Takes Two: Daddy to the Rescue

Daddy, remaining the skeptic and wanting only the best for Cooper, continued to do his own research on other options. At this point, with his soft spot closing at a much faster speed, a helmet seemed like the only option. That’s right…a helmet. You know the feeling when your heart drops in your stomach and you can’t seem to gather words, well that was my continual state for about a week when deciding if this was our only course of action. We went to the helmet specialist in Norfolk, VA and while Cooper’s measurements were not horrible and this doctor was also happy to see no facial misalignments, the end result was still to go with the helmet.

Feeling Like You Failed as a Mom

I felt like a failure. I felt like I had let Cooper down as a mom. I felt like everyone on the outside was going to judge me and judge him. I didn’t want people to see him differently or treat him differently. I didn’t want him to spend his summer sweating, when he’s already hot natured. I didn’t want to take him to the grocery store or Target in fear of the looks we would get. I couldn’t handle the fact that my little cuddle bug would no longer be able to cuddle with me out of discomfort or irritability. I cried knowing I wouldn’t be able to rock him to sleep, cheek to cheek at night, because this device would prevent us from touching. I tear up even now thinking about it…

Helmet Therapy and Reservations

Let me give you a bit more background on the helmet before finishing our story. Helmet therapy is a cosmetic process and device, not a medical device. Doctors have not pinpointed it as the only option; however they do see it as an option. Most insurance companies do not cover it (though thankfully ours did!). And studies have shown that by the age of 5 the child who wore the helmet vs the child who didn’t, with the same beginning measurements, ended up with the same results. So of course you can see my hesitation from the get go. However, my husband always puts me at ease by putting things in perspective. He broke out a scenario…Cooper’s 8 years old and he’s at a pool party and his friends are joking him because of his head being flat in the back. He of course doesn’t show signs to his friends that they’ve hurt his feelings, because that’s just how his head is. But later comes home and asks mommy and daddy “Why is my head flat?” As parents, as protectors and providers, it is our responsibility to give our kiddos the best options, the best case scenarios, the most that we can give to help them succeed. Sure, he’d succeed whether he had a flat head or not. But don’t kids these days already have enough pressures and problems to face than something that we could have potentially prevented? My answer, YES.

Making Our Decision

So, we got the helmet. 21 hours a day he wore it. YES 21!!!!! He had it off first thing in the morning for a little break, after nap, and again for evening bath time. You know I was snuggling and kissing and holding my baby every minute of those 3 hours that I possibly could. His diagnosis was only to wear the helmet for 4-6 months, considering he got the helmet on later than they would have initially hoped (main skull structure development happens between 4-9 months), his soft spot would close around 18-24 months and at that point, it would not be useful. So we did our parental duties and I learned to get over what people thought. I learned quickly that it didn’t affect him nearly as much as it affected me. That his personality didn’t change because of it. And the other little kids treated him just the same, if not even more gently, than they did before. One of the best things about getting the helmet, similar to getting colored braces or casts, we were able to get our helmet wrapped like a car vehicle. It made it look less medical and more like an accessory. It made him smile when he saw it and that helped mommy and daddy a lot!

Every Step Counts: Protecting Your Child and Growing as a Parent

In addition to the 21 hours a week, we started taking Cooper to a chiropractic specialist in Portsmouth who we had been referred to us by a friend of a friend who had dealt with a similar situation with her own child. The chiropractor specializes in the sutures and development of the skull…she has helped significantly too. So 21 hours a day, plus three trips a week to Portsmouth…let’s just say at the six week rescan, momma was a happy camper knowing there had been progress! Not only visibly, but physically, we are making moves in the right direction.

We still have 2 more weeks until his next rescan and he is only wearing the helmet at night now. But I am happy to say…I fear none of those previous concerns anymore. I am not concerned about what others think if they see him in it. I am proud of our decision and my ability to overcome what seemed at the time to be impossible. And my little cuddle bug, is still mommy’s sweet boy. All the while, his head is getting better! I will be more weary with baby #2 and I will take the “Back to Sleep Movement” for SIDS with a grain of salt and if she hates tummy time, I’m going to listen to the cries a bit longer before giving in and turning her over.

My Hope for Every Mother

My hope for sharing this is that we give other moms a break. That we don’t judge before knowing the circumstances. That we lend an ear when they need to talk and a shoulder when they need to cry. That we offer our advice and support when we can and remember that this parenting thing doesn’t come easy and it surely takes a village. I hope in some way I was able to ease your worries about something, anything you may be dealing with as a mom. And know, at the end of the day, what matters most is that we are doing the best we can!

How have you handled tough situations or concerns with your child? What tips do you have to support other moms going through a tough time?

 

 

Disregard My Appearance

When you haven’t quite entered into mommy-hood your perspective on personal appearance is much different. Freshly showered, fully lathered in lotion, make-up just right, hair dried and straightened, outfit ironed and shoes polished, a touch of lip gloss and you’re set to go. Meanwhile, you may not notice other women running around in their yoga pants, hats on, head down; simply to shield the public from their un-showered, bags below the eyes, exhausted new sense of “self”. We don’t call those women lazy…we call them moms.

Of course you have a closet full of freshly laundered baby clothes, hung just right, according to size, color, style, and season. Their tiny socks and shoes all organized and ready to wear. And accessories of all colors to perfect the outfit. (Thank heavens, for Gary’s wallets sake, we had a boy first) My little guy now takes precedence: freshly showered, fully lathered in lotion, we skip the make-up of course, hair dried – combed – and styled, outfit coordinating perfectly to his socks and shoes, a touch of baby powder and he’s set to go.

Now don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t have it any other way. He looks like a doll baby and I…well, at least my clothes are clean. When we are in public, attention is no longer on what I look like, he’s the one getting the Oh’s and Ah’s and I’m beaming regardless of my appearance. It’s amazing how your priorities and sense of “self” truly change. Instead of heading straight to the women’s clothing section, I head straight for the baby clothes every time. I’m shopping for baby wipes instead of hair product, toys instead of trinkets, bibs instead of scarves.

I didn’t truly notice this new sense of “self” until I started back to working at the store on a more regular basis. Sure I had my getting ready schedule down pat by then (or at least I thought I did). The usual 45-1 hour prep time of showering and getting ready, was immediately reduced to 15 minutes, therefore meaning: freshly showered (minus the shaving), skip the lotion, face lotion and mascara is all the make-up I get time for, hair towel dried, outfit at least matching, skip the lip gloss (I can’t kiss all over my little man with lip gloss!) and I’m set to go. So I head to drop Cooper off at Lita’s or Grammy’s house, we Oh and Ah over him for a few minutes and I’m off to work. It’s never until about 2 hours in when I glance in the mirror and I’m immediately struck with a bit of shock, grief, humility, and humor. My towel dried hair looks like medusa. My mere mascara look can’t hide the bags under my eyes. My outfit doesn’t fit like it used to. And to top it all off, when I go to the bathroom, I notice my underwear are inside out! Now THAT is motherhood right there.

There is an up-side to all of this. When you DO have that 45 minute prep-time for a special occasion…you might as well be hitting the cat walk because you get a million compliments from the people who see you on a daily basis. It’s actually humorous – it’s like they forgot that you can look presentable.

Ladies (who haven’t taken the mommy train yet): please cut us some slack.

Mommies: you are forgiven.

Husbands/Daddies: Tell us we are beautiful, even if we look like zombies.

All of other men: get over it.

New sense of “self”: It’s ok. You won’t be a zombie forever! Soon they learn to dress themselves and you have a few more minutes to put on lotion!

But at the end of the day, the part about all of this that makes it completely OK is that showered or not, cute wardrobe or not, make-up or not…Cooper still smiles at me the same way…and to me, that’s all that matters.